What I Learned in Europe: Take Four

and they just keep comin'

• Watch out for the kids … they will either slap your ass or steal your poster
• Don’t steal anything from Alex, she will chase you down
• There is no travel companion quite like Vincent
• It is just as badass, possibly more so, to go to a Rolling Stones concert in Paris
• Put your hands up for Detroit!
• Mimes have lives too, once their make-up is off, they smoke
• Don’t be shocked to see a man painted in gold at a telephone booth
• It’s easier to buy a Real Madrid or Marseilles soccer jersey if you know who the players on the back are
• Never underestimate the power of a good night’s sleep
• Even if they say no, the Holiday Inn probably has a room
• If you’re going to stay in a small town for a play, make sure that you are on that last train back to London
• When you actually have met people who live close to where you are stranded, of course they will be off traveling somewhere, thus unable to rescue you
• Guys, like the Brazilian, do unexpected things at bars
• It is usually not a good sign when you walk into a bar and there is blood all over the floor
• Italians, particularly in Rome, really do just park anywhere
• Fortunately, the traffic lights also turn yellow before they turn green, rev your engine
• The Audubon really isn’t as spectacular as you may think, there are actually speed limits in places
• You don’t know how solemn a concentration camp really is until you are there
• Eiffel Tower. At night. Sparkling. Incredible.
• If you get to see George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and Matt Damon, make sure you have sufficient battery to take decent pictures!
• When in doubt on how to find a ritzy event, follow those in tuxes and fancy dresses
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• Irony is abundant, such as the Byron store being right next to the Shelley Keats Museum
• Showing up for your flight twelve hours late is never good, and also a tad expensive (again, referencing the Gatwick Airport delay)
  
• Buckle up for your taxi ride … and make sure you have gone to the bathroom
• Road rage is fiery in Europe … you will probably witness a car chase
• The ‘f’ word is just as widely used
• Those travel guides aren’t kidding when they say London is expensive
• There is no place like Heaven … and gay bars have just as many straight people
• The cars are weird-looking
• In Britain, make sure you look LEFT … or is it right? … anyhow, the other way, before crossing the road
• Famous play sold out since October? No matter! Wait in the queue, you might get lucky, and you might get the best seats in the house
• Make sure all parts of your body are covered in sunscreen in the Mediterranean sun
• The hills in Scotland really are covered in Heather
• Make sure you don’t leave your iPod on by accident, the train rides are long
• Be sure to just go to the classy nude beaches, beware of the creeps in Barcelona
• If a handicapped man selling seedy drawings comes up to you in Montpellier, hide your ice cream
• Beware of Dangerous Seagulls!
• Edmund Dantes never really set foot in the Chateau D’If, but it is still cool to take pictures and pose in ‘his’ prison cell